We often believe our memories to serve us well, but each time we recall a moment, the memory is revisited, altered, and changed. Each visit is influenced by our current state of thinking - our mood - and can shift our perspective over time. What about the memories we fear to recall, or those we haven’t given the time they need to be processed or accepted? I believe, through repeated exposure, one can experience desensitization by recalling a memory again and again. It might transform our state of mind, and our reaction to that time and place. It is not about disregarding, but of transformation and acceptance.

My process takes me to a time and place where decisions were made so quickly, I had little time to prepare. The act of revisiting a memory through form, shape, and reflection gives me the chance to accpet marks of the past. 

I’ll never forget a moment when someone said in response to the lump and scarbelow my clavicle, “I always thought it was body modification, like a permanent brooch”.

Jewelry is an elective adornment, a chosen addition to the body, but can’t a scar, a mark, or a site of intervention also be jewelry? After all, it is but surface embellishment. In some cases, these marks may not be elective but they carry a message, a secret, and a story. They carry time and place and through repeated wear and exposure, they offer the opportunity to heal.

Second Thoughts, 2020
silver, leather, silk, powder-coated copper,
aluminum, MiC*, petg plastic

*self-produced Microbial cellulose
19” x 3.25” x .5”

Sometimes I feel like my process seems dark or possibly some strange form of self-inflicted therapy, my own self-prescribed medication. While searching for a material that could mimic skin and stand-in for the body, I learned about microbial cellulose - a living fiber that is produced by bacteria in an anaerobic environment. I harvest the cellulose from the liquid’s surface, use various methods of manipulation and dehydration- with an end result that takes on properties similar to leather.

Photos by Kat St. Aubin
While growing and working with this material, I imagine myself in the operative role of a medical professional, the living skin-like material takes on properties similar to the flesh when hydrated, and to leather when dehydrated. This fanciful operative role has shifted how I consider my relationship with medical interventions, and allows me to revisit times past. To imagine the body as an adaptable and responsive material, allows me to desensitize myself from the subject matter, while allowing me to address the larger concepts of supplementation, prosthetics, and their relationship with adornment and identity. Bringing the surface into focus and reflecting on marks and moments of time that indicate a before and after.

To revisit is to relive, to discard old, to disregard. To revisit is to gain, to collect new, to transform.

Second Thoughts II, 2020
silver, leather, powder-coated copper, mesh tulle,
MiC*, petg plastic

*self-produced Microbial cellulose
18” x 3.75” x 1”

Recur, 2020
silver, powder-coated copper and brass, MiC*, cotton cord

*self-produced Microbial cellulose
19” x 2” x .5”